


It isn't fair- Octavia Blake

by orphan_account



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Cuddles, F/M, GabTavia, Gabriel Santiago - Freeform, Octabriel, The 100 - Freeform, The Ark, hatred towards the stupid universe, random idea, thinking about random shit, universe - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:07:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23255941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: An au where octavia just...thinks about everything. (also involves gabtavia because theyre my babies)
Relationships: Octavia Blake/Gabriel Santiago | Xavier
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	It isn't fair- Octavia Blake

There in the small, surely twin sized bed, laid two bodies. Octavia's head rested on Gabriel's chest. One hand wrapped around her, and the other playing with her hair. It had been silent since they both woke up. But not the awkward tense silence,the calm and still silence. Like they were the only people in the world. No feet causing the branches scattered among the leaves to break, no hums of a black motorcycle outside, just them, and their thoughts. And in this moment, Octavia wanted to bottle it all up, for it to never end. She just wanted to stay there forever.

It wasn't fair.

Just like when she was a kid on the ark, whining about not wanting to get under the floor because of another inspection. She would always protest, protest with all the power of the little heart beating in her chest, until she could hear the footsteps of the guard, panic and fear settled in and she sped into the small square under the floorboards, getting consumed by darkness. "it's not fair" she would always say, she just wanted to be normal, like Bellamy, like his best friend Finn who would occasionally come by. He was the only one Bellamy had trusted to tell about her. She remembered how much she had admired him, the way he saw the good in everything, she also liked the stories he would tell her about his girlfriend, Raven. Her spacewalks, How he saw her as the most beautiful girl in the world. She had always wanted to be loved like that.

There was this word, almost. She hated that word. Knowing she was this close to getting something,only to lose it by a minor flaw or complication.

She almost saved her people, she almost saved Lincoln, everything was ruined by that one singular word.

She sighed into Gabriel's chest, wishing to soak in every moment of it. 

She had tried to end her life before, but then she realized exactly where she would go after death. She wondered what it was like to be dead, where all the lives she took went, she wishes better for most of them now, even Pike. She had remorse for those lives she took, most of them anyways, she hoped death was peace. Maybe even nothingness, just forever still. She just needed it to stop, to stop hurting, to stop breathing, to be free. She never wanted to take a life ever again.

It wasn't fair.

She sat up, "Gabe?" he let out a soft hum, as to say "what?"

"never mind it's stupid" the truth is, she was scared to know the truth. She knew Gabriel had died many times before, and she was so very tempted to ask him what it was like.

Her hands quickly found his, everyone still alive in the entire existence of humanity had suffered a great deal. And she couldn't help but think about how lucky they were to have found each other.

The universe was out to get them. Octavia didn't fully understand the concept of it, how things are supposedly mapped out in front of them. She didn't like the idea that she couldn't change the future, that someone or something else got to decide it for her. So for the time being, she decided to not believe in it. She wanted to believe that she was entitled to her own future, that no one else got to decide it but her. She knew that wasn't true either. If that were true she wouldn't have became blodreina, she never would've resorted to cannibalism, Lincoln never would've died. But then again, she never would've been locked up on the ark, and her story would have ended there, Octavia Blake, the nobody from corridor C. She would have died up there, because Bellamy never would've had to come to the ground and he never would have saved clarke from dying. Clarke would be dead, the 100 would have starved to death, or been massacred by grounders, and the ark wouldn't know the earth was survivable. So maybe everything did happen for a reason. And it scared the shit out of her. 

But there was one thing she knew about the "universe," it took, and it took until there was no more to take. It drained the life from people and gave it to others. 

It wasn't fair. 

Life was out to get every single soul until it became too much to bear. And then it laughed, as it watched the damage it had done.

It wasn't fair.

She just wanted a break. A moment where she wasn't overwhelmed by all the bad things she had done.

It wasn't fair.

Every bone in her body burned. That one phrase circling her mind, taunting her.

It wasn't fair.

And suddenly, she was filled with a burning hatred for this so called "universe" it was cruel and harsh, it was brutal and murderous. 

"It isn't fair." she mumbled, sliding back down at Gabriels side. 

"It's not fair,"

**Author's Note:**

> Anyways I hope you enjoyed this random thought that came to me. Have a great day, and wash your hands!!


End file.
